10 Things I've Learned Being Married 9,132 Days

Here are the ten best things I have learned being married for over 9,000 days. I have not perfected any of them, and they are a good reminder for me as well. They are not listed in any particular order. 

1. Men cannot and will never be able to read a women's mind. Don't get mad at your husband when he doesn't pick up your vibes like your girlfriends can. He may get lucky sometimes, "Everything okay?", but don't punish him if he doesn't, it's not intentional. They aren't wired that way like women are. You have to tell him. 
2. Please continue to date. You fell in love dating your spouse, right? That's how you really got to know each other. Dare I say, magic happens on dates. 
3. It's okay to be mad at your spouse, or not even like them, for a brief period, but don't stay there. It's normal to feel mad at your spouse and not like them from time to time. Extremely normal. But nobody really talks about that. We are human, we are selfish by nature, and people make mistakes. Give each other some space, pray alone, then pray together and talk it out. I repeat, don't stay there. 
4. Every now and then ask yourself, "What's it like to be married to me?" Am I kind? Affectionate? Encouraging? Forgiving? Healthy? Patient? Protecting? Respectful? Or am I selfish? Easily angered? Critical? Cold? A downer? Be willing to work on you when it's needed. 
5. Sex is to your marriage what water is to your garden. Gardens need LOTS of water. ;) No water for your garden leads to a dehydrated, starving plant, no fruit and no joy. The same is true for your sex life and marriage.
6. Make a budget, stay on budget. Also, agree on an amount each of you can freely spend without checking in with the other person and or give each person an allowance each week to spend however, without question. 
7. Pray together regularly. There is a beautiful intimacy that comes with praying with your spouse. It takes the focus off of one another and invites God in. He will honor this.
8. Do not compare your marriage or your husband to other marriages or other husbands. We don't compare fairly. We are tempted to compare our spouse's weaknesses with another's strengths. Comparing usually leads to pride or envy, neither is healthy.
9. Just because marriage can be hard, it doesn't mean it's bad. Don't confuse the two. If it's a hard patch, acknowledge it, and work through it positively and with hope. EVERY couple has them.
10. If you are struggling in your marriage with communication, expectations, sex, finances, or spiritually, get help. Your marriage is worth it. Talk with someone you admire, trust and respect. 

I still have a lot to learn but I am grateful for all of the lessons along the way. Here's to the next 9,132 days David Manning! Love you babe. 

Thanks for reading,

L.

Everyone Needs an Angel

I have an angel. She does Zumba. 


My angel's name is Jan and she just turned 80 years young. Her favorite birthday gift? Red cowboy boots of course!  


Her words are sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. When Jan speaks to you, she cares from the depths of her heart, as if no one else mattered on the planet in that moment but you. 


Her words are life-giving and memorable.


She cries for your children's trials and heartaches when you cannot cry anymore. 


She speaks up for those who cannot speak for themselves and she defends the rights of the poor and needy.


She prays fervently and she's a fighter. A darn good one. 


She is funny:

Jan: "It is really cold out there, I should have worn a heavier jacket."

Me: "Yes, it's damp cold."

Jan: With a straight face, "Did you say it's damn cold or it's damp cold?", then she breaks out in a contagious laughter.

She is beautiful on the outside too...

Everyone needs a Jan. She inspires me to be a better everything. 


"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Proverbs 31:29


Grateful for my angel,
Leslie

Life-Giving Words

"Olivia, It's your birthday! You are such a great friend, and I am so glad that you live close by so we can hang out a lot! You are so nice, smart, and caring!"


The young girl who penned these sweet words in her birthday card to my just-turned-eleven daughter has no idea of the profound impact of her words and how much they mean to her. 


They made her day. Her week. Her month. Her year. 


This young author used life-giving words. Words that affirm and encourage. Words that heal deep wounds. Words that replay over and over in your mind because they feel so good. Words that you run and return to when ugly words barge in. 


Do our words give life?


I am reminded once again of the power of our words. May I choose ALL my words (to others and to myself) as carefully and purposefully as this young friend did. 


Thanks for reading,
L.